Inspired by I Used to be Fat

Yesterday, on MTV, I was watching the show, I Used to Be Fat. And just like when I watch The Biggest Loser, I was so inspired. The girl on the show lost 90lbs through diet and exercise. And she looked fabulous at the end of the show.

I think I was especially inspired because at her starting size, she was a little bit heavier than I am now, and by the time she was starting college (this was over a period of 4 months) she had lost 90lbs! 

Every year it seems, I struggle to lose weight. I think it's because I'm just not as invested in it as I should be. My husband is a healthy weight and size and could pretty much eat anything he wanted, if he chose to. I, on the other hand, can't. I'm overweight (or obese, if you're judging by the BMI scale) and I need a change. I need to get to a healthy weight and size.

I can't remember when my clothing size was a single digit. Probably when I was still in elementary school. I can't remember when I wasn't forced to have to buy clothing at a plus-size store. (I HATE the term "plus-size" by the way!) I can't remember when I didn't get winded climbing a few sets of stairs. I'm tired of it, and I need to make a life change.

I'm using this blog to keep me accountable and motivated. Because I want to do this. I need to do this. This is the time. I really mean it this time.

In order to help with my progress, I'll be planning my meals in advance and using SparkPeople.com to track what I eat. I've had success using a food journal (like SparkPeople.com), and now I just need to keep on using it. My exercise will be a mix of going to the gym, doing TurboKick and P90X at home, and eventually, I want to get TurboFire. I just became a Coach on BeachBody.com, so I'll be able to get Shakeology and other Beach Body products for a small discount. 

I'm ready. 

I don't want to look back a few months from now and say, "I wish I had started then." 

Tomorrow, I'll be sharing my starting weight (scary!) and a few photos.

Til then, have a HAPPY NEW YEAR!

Consciousness & Food

Last year, my husband and I watched the documentary, Food, Inc. It had a serious impact on us. Immediately, we felt the need to eat clean food and started shopping at Whole Foods. The only problem with shopping there is that everything is so much more expensive. While I understand that we're paying the premium for all natural food, it also seems a little contradictory.

Shouldn't food be all natural to begin with?

We quickly realized that we couldn't shop like this all the time. With just the two of us, $165/week for food  is a little crazy. And with only one income, it would make things really tight. If we could, I'd love to shop at Whole Foods all the time. I'd love to be able to ensure that we're only ingesting organic vegetables and grilling grass-fed meats.

Alas. We can, but not all the time.

But I think one of the most important components of getting to a healthy weight when you are overweight is consciousness. Being conscious about what and how much you are putting in your body. I know that for me, this is one of my main problems. I like to eat, and I like to eat a lot.

And it's not just the quantity of the food, it's also the quality of the food. If I'm downing a three bags of potato chips (I've never done that, just one bag a sitting), I'm getting all kinds of calories, but none of the good kind. Potato chips don't provide the same lasting energy like protein does.

So in 2011, I want to be conscious about what I eat. I want to be conscious about how much I eat. And I want to be good to my body. It's the only one I've got.

My Love Affair with Food

I can't say when it started, really.

I mean, it's pretty much always been there. I've never been one to say, "No," to food.

Food is delicious. Food feeds the soul. Food feeds the belly.

I've always said that I'd never been able to have an eating disorder. At least of the restriction type. I love food too much. And even if I don't love my body, I do love my food. I don't mean to make light of people with eating disorders, but it's just something I don't understand how people do that to themselves.

Considering that I start to get irritable and ornery when I get hungry, I don't see myself getting past the point where I just didn't eat. My husband knows that if he senses angry undertones in my demeanor, he should probably get some food in me. STAT.

Maybe it was because everything my mom cooked for us growing up was delicious. Maybe it was because she never forced us to eat vegetables and provided ample starches. Maybe it was just the fact that eating is an enjoyable activity and filling my belly with goodies is a fun past time.

Whatever the reason, I've had a love affair with food for most of my life.

I'm a bonafide member of the Clean Plate Club. I don't believe in wasting food. If you can't finish it, ask for a doggie bag.

When I go to a restaurant, it sickens me when I see food wasted by other patrons. At least take it home! Or, if you really hated it, send it back and order something else.

Growing up, I often found myself going for seconds, and if it was really good, thirds.

I love sweet baked goods. If there was a birthday in the house, I'd usually eat leftover cake for breakfast. My kind of breakfast of champions.

I know what I like, and my palate is extra fond of red meat, potatoes, fried things, and dessert. No wonder I'm overweight, right?

I love food, and I'm not a afraid to admit it.

But I just need to turn down my love for the bad stuff and turn up my love for the better stuff. You know vegetables and other fibrous things.

So let's do this in 2011.

Honestly.

I'm going to get all honest here. So, please, bear with me.

The winding road to being more than 240lbs has been a tumultuous journey. I've struggled with my weight since I was thirteen years old.

Until I was about seven years old, I was your average, light-hearted, fun-loving kid who would go outside and run around and play with friends. But I lived in France, where people walk more, eat real food, and enjoy life. And even at six years old, I lived that life, and weight was never an issue. I wasn't a chubby kid then. I was just tall. Even skinny.

Then we moved back to the United States. And almost instantly, I started to gain weight. I started to put on some chub. At eight years old in my ballet class, I wasn't just the tallest, I was also the chubbiest. But I loved dancing and doing ballet so I kept up with it.

I remember when my grandfather passed away when I was ten. We were in San Diego when he had been brought to the hospital. It was only a matter of time. And when it became apparent that our trip was going to include attending his funeral, we made a trip to the department store to find something suitable to wear. I remember, that I had to wear a size 11. At ten years old.

In ballet class I was always the biggest. The teacher always had to order the largest costume size for me, or it had to be custom made. I mean, I wasn't rippling with fat, but I just wasn't a skinny girl. And in ballet, the non-skinny stick out. Like a sore thumb. By the time I graduated eighth grade, I think I was about 160lbs. For my height, it was just a little overweight. Nothing too terrible.

And then there was high school. High school is like this unforgiving gauntlet of trials, tribulations, successes, and failures. It's the place where you figure out (or hope to) how to flirt with boys and get asked to the school dance. It's where you fight competitively for grades. It's where you first learn failure when you don't make the school athletic team. My freshman year I made some foolish choices that included talking about another girl behind her back and then getting confronted by said girl's cousin. She made me feel small and like a heel for what I said. She also called me a "fat cow with no sense of style." That hurt.

So I fed the hurt, with food. Fast food. And my mom would take my sister and I on trips to the mall where we indulged in Mexican food and burgers and fries. And Dairy Queen. That certainly did not help my waistline. By the time I graduated high school I teetered in the 190-200 range.

I was so ecstatic to make it through high school and get away from the familiar and start college. Enter: the Freshman 15. And then some. There were lots of unhealthy dorm food choices and I made a lot of them. Chicken fingers and fries? Yes, please. Pizza at 12:30am? Sure, why not. Ice cream, too? Um, yeah!

My one saving grace was when I studied abroad in France. I remember moving there and some of my clothes were a little tight. But by the time I returned to the US the following summer, and stepped on the scale, I had lost 20lbs. For the first time in at least two years, the scale read under 200. It read 198. I was overjoyed. And that was without event trying or limiting what I ate. It was just the nature of the food and walking. A lot of walking.

That joy was fleeting though, as I fell back into bad habits and infrequent trips to the gym. My weight returned to it's pre-France number and stayed constant around 208.

Then I landed my first full-time job. I went to the gym most days, but eating cafeteria food or going out to eat with co-workers defeated my workouts. Pre-wedding, my weight topped out at 218. Even with boot camp and trying to eat right, they weight didn't come off.

And then we got married. I moved to Texas. I didn't really cook. For the first few weeks, we lived off gift cards and eating out. I went to the gym, but I wasn't putting in enough time or effort. And then I got lazy. By the end of year one of marriage, I weighed 233.

Here we are six months later, and 11 pounds heavier.

I plan to change this. In 2011, I want to lose at least 20lbs. I want to increase my energy. I want to increase my endurance. And I want to not get winded when I walk or climb stairs. I need to change.

Honestly.

Workout Regiment

My father-in-law used to be a drill sergeant. As in yelling and keeping troops in line.

I think I need some of that.

Back in September, I met with a friend who also happens to be a Beach Body Coach. She demoed some workout DVDs to me, and that day I went home with the TurboKick workout plan. I actually really like doing kickboxing, but the only problem with workout DVDs that only have three-five workouts, is that after a few weeks, it starts getting repetitive. And no longer fun.

I think I'm going to check out TurboFire. It has more workouts and it's more intense. I could use some intense workouts. Burn this fat off. Burn this annoying visceral fat around my waistline.

I'm also starting Shakeology, which is an amazing shake drink that is good for you. Like, really good for you.

The excuse of not having enough time is no longer an issue. It's motivation and laziness I have to muster and combat, respectively.

But change NEEDS to happen. I really mean it.

So let's do this thing!

Change is Coming

Every year around this time I make a promise to myself. The year starts off okay, and then by mid-February, as we get closer to my birthday, my efforts begin to dwindle. And then it spirals out. Complacency sets in and eventually, I give up.

But this year will be different.

It has to be.

I know that life changes usually spur some kind of change in the waistline. It was true for college. It was true when I got my first full time job. And it was true when I got married.

And now I've ballooned to my highest weight ever and it's gotten to the point where I can no longer be complacent. I can no longer ignore the truth of the matter. I can no longer just hope I lose the weight...eventually.

In the next two years or so, we'll probably start thinking about having kids. And I don't want to be that pregnant lady who is already fat, and then gets fatter. I don't want to get winded playing with my kids or climbing a set of stairs. I don't want to get stuck eating fast food and letting my waistline expand.

Game over weight. The only direction you will be going is DOWN.

Holiday time is always the hardest to get started, so this effort will begin at the beginning of 2011. I'm making a commitment to myself and my health, and sharing it here on this blog.

On January 1, I will blog my current weight. I'm hoping that with the accountability of this blog, and maybe a reader or two, I can meet my goal by December 31, 2011.